The worst thing Donald Trump could do

donald

I suspect even the staunchest Trump supporter gets a little twinge in his bowels at the thought of The Donald’s tiny finger on the nuke trigger, but I wonder if he could do almost as much damage to the U.S. by sitting in his bathtub and blowing his brains out. That seems less likely than a Trident missile launch but it would fuck this country up for fifty years. Nobody would ever believe the man wasn’t assassinated. Once this thought popped into my head, I tried to think of any way the man might die that wouldn’t be suspicious (to someone). The best I could come up with was meteor strike (earthquake?) I think the world might survive a Trump presidency but if he jumped from the Trump Tower penthouse, I think he might take our country with him.

R.I.P. GOP

Matt Taibbi says Donald Trump has killed the Republican Party. I’m guessing there will always be folks who call themselves Republicans but that will mean something very different than it did before The Donald. A few humorous excerpts from his latest piece in Rolling Stone.

Cruz glanced back and forth across the room with that odd, neckless, monitor-lizard posture of his. He had to know the import of this moment. Nothing less than the future of the Republican Party had been at stake in the Indiana primary.

“I want to thank and congratulate the Republican National Committee, and Reince Priebus,” he croaked, as his heavily-made-up, Robert Palmer-chicks collection of wives and daughters twisted faintly in a deadpan chorus behind him.

If the convention isn’t Liberace meets Stalin meets Vince McMahon, it’ll be a massive disappointment.

If this isn’t the end for the Republican Party, it’ll be a shame. They dominated American political life for 50 years and were never anything but monsters. They bred in their voters the incredible attitude that Republicans were the only people within our borders who raised children, loved their country, died in battle or paid taxes. They even sullied the word “American” by insisting they were the only real ones. They preferred Lubbock to Paris, and their idea of an intellectual was Newt Gingrich. Their leaders, from Ralph Reed to Bill Frist to Tom DeLay to Rick Santorum to Romney and Ryan, were an interminable assembly line of shrieking, witch-hunting celibates, all with the same haircut – the kind of people who thought Iran-Contra was nothing, but would grind the affairs of state to a halt over a blow job or Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube.

A century ago, the small-town American was Gary Cooper: tough, silent, upright and confident. The modern Republican Party changed that person into a haranguing neurotic who couldn’t make it through a dinner without quizzing you about your politics. They destroyed the American character. No hell is hot enough for them.

The Trump Tower of Kennett, MO

Our Man in Kennett, Charles Jolliff forward this digital clip:

“Jan McElwrath, executive director of the Kennett Chamber of Commerce, announced there will be a ribbon-cutting ceremony held at 2 p.m., Monday, May 19, 2008, at the new Ely Walker Apartments. “Although I’m sad to say that Gov. Matt Blunt will be unable to attend, I’m very pleased to say that Ms. Sheryl Crow will make an appearance,” McElwrath said. “So we are expecting a wonderful turnout for this event.”

So, Sheryl Crow is second-choice after the governor? Uh huh.

Before being converted to posh loft apartments, the old Ely Walker building was a shirt factory. I remember walking by on a hot summer day and peering in to watch row upon row of women making shirts. No air conditioning back then and the work looked damned hot. But these were probably pretty good jobs that –like so many others– have moved off-shore. I’m sure my old hometown would like to have them back.

Let’s hope Charles is feeling fit enough to get some pix of SC holding those big scissors.