Tag Archives: Quotable

Why shouldn’t I work for the N.S.A.?

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“Why shouldn’t I work for the N.S.A.? That’s a tough one, but I’ll take a shot. Say I’m working at the N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I’m real happy with myself, ’cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people that I never met and that I never had no problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin’, “Send in the marines to secure the area” ’cause they don’t give a shit. It won’t be their kid over there, gettin’ shot. Just like it wasn’t them when their number was called, ’cause they were pullin’ a tour in the National Guard. It’ll be some kid from Southie takin’ shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, ’cause he’ll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain’t helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. They’re takin’ their sweet time bringin’ the oil back, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin’ play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain’t too long ’til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy’s out of work and he can’t afford to drive, so he’s walking to the fuckin’ job interviews, which sucks ’cause the schrapnel in his ass is givin’ him chronic hemorroids. And meanwhile he’s starvin’ ’cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they’re servin’ is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I’m holdin’ out for somethin’ better. I figure, fuck it, while I’m at it, why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.”

From Good Will Hunting, written by Matt Damon & Ben Affleck

War & Peace

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“Peace is best. You should make every sacrifice to secure peace. When you absolutely must go to war, however, you must try to kill all the enemy you can as quickly as you can, holding nothing back, until they have surrendered or you have been defeated utterly. It is a great fraud to think otherwise and it prolongs the agony. It would be better if people said, if we fight, we are going to boil babies in their own fat and blast the skin off nice old ladies, so they die slowly in great pain, and we are happy to do this, because what we fight for is so important. And if they conclude that it is not as important as that, then they should fight no more.”

— Robert K. Tanenbaum, Act of Revenge

If lawyers are disbarred…

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“If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed (and eventually disfigured) and dry cleaners depressed? Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will be deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be delivered, the BVD company will be debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose. As a student, I spent all my time wishing to be detested and degraded.”

— 3Bruces

Mary Quass on radio and the Internet

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Mary Quass is a really smart, really nice lady that’s been very successful in the radio business. I haven’t seen the full interview yet but today’s issue of RAIN pulled some excerpts from the May 26, 2003 issue of Radio Ink Magazine:

“This (Internet) is the first technology to mean that anybody can have a radio station as good as, if not better, than what’s out there today — and it has nothing to do with a license. I want to be in and out of the business by then… “

“When I go to the gym to work out, you know what I do? I listen to MP3s on my Rio. If I grew up with radio and I’m listening to MP3s, why should we expect young people to listen to radio when their lives are so packed with other things? That’s why, when the Internet becomes wireless, I want to be there.’.. “

“Radio has taken for granted that we will always have 96 percent of the adult population listening to this medium in a week. But we know that response rates and that kind of stuff are declining — not so much because Arbitron’s methodology necessarily is flawed or archaic, as much as it is that people want what they want when they want it.”

“It’s all about the product. If you have a great product and it’s in demand, people will use that product. If we don’t differentiate our product when the Internet becomes wireless, it will be a whole new ball game for all of us. We had better be ready, or the frustration we feel will only grow.”

You think?

“Enlarged prostitute”

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Those watching the closed captions on the 6:30 p.m. Tuesday feed of Peter Jennings’s “World News Tonight” were informed that Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan was “in the hospital for an enlarged prostitute.” Apparently the typist hit the wrong key, or keys. Greenspan was home recovering Wednesday from prostate surgery, said his wife, NBC correspondent Andrea Mitchell. As for that “enlarged prostitute,” Mitchell told us: “He should be so lucky.” (Lloyd Grove – Washington Post) By way of Shop Talk.