Tag Archives: movies

All we need is (another) ending

Posted on by
5

I’m probably one of the last to hear about the guy that made a bet with his girlfriend that he could make a website that would get 2 million hits. If he fails, he admits he’s an idiot. If he gets the 2 million hits, his girlfriend will do a threesome with with another girl. The guy is obvisouly not an idiot because the site he created (HelpWinMyBet.com) appealed to every horny geek on the Internet and there’s waaay more than 2 million of those. He’s passed 3 million hits and his girlfriend has conceded defeat. They’re now reviewing applicants for the trois of the menage.

The site looks legit but who knows. When Darin forwarded this link, all I could think of was the screenplay that jumped out of my inbox.

As you know, I’m a terrible casting director but I could see Jack Black (maybe Ben Stiller) as the geeky boyfriend. Perhaps Janeane Garofalo as the girlfriend. Not sure who should play the other woman but here’s my take on the story…

Starts off just like the "real" story. Guy wins the bet and starts putting photos of "other girl" candidates on his website. Which comes to the attention of a publicist for a rock (movie?) star whose career is starting to fade. The flack talks the star client into joining the threesome by putting together a movie deal that will jump-start her sliding career. (We’re talking movie-within-a-movie here, right?)

At first the geeky boyfriend is giddy with delight. He’s going to be in a movie where he has sex with his girlfriend and the star. But the star and the girlfriend become pals. Not lovers, but friends. As they begin to have fun with the whole idea, the boyfriend starts having second thoughts.

As regular readers know, this is where I run out of ideas… and my friend Kay bails me out with three or four really good, boffo endings. But you can play, too. Just click the comments link below.

PS: If this movie has already been made, let me know.

PPS: If this movie ever gets made, how pissed will I be?

PPS: Ooh, how about this. Starving (blocked) screenwriter scours the web looking for ideas. Comes across a blog where this smart, funny guy keeps posting movie idea without endings. The blocked writer is ass deep in good endings…steals the blogger’s plots…and sells them to Big Studio where they bescome megahits. The blogger recognizes his ideas on the big screen and road-trips to Hollywood to confront the (now wealthy) screenwriter. I think we might have two movies here. Any ideas on who should play me?

More popcorn, Mr. President?

Posted on by
Reply

Let’s add V for Vendetta –the new film by The Wachowski Brothers– to the top of my list of Movies I’d Like to Watch with George Bush (GoodNight, and Good Luck; Dave; Mr. Smith Goes to Washington; 1984; Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room). The wonderful vocal performance by Hugo Weaving (Agent Smith from The Matrix) carries the movie. Everyone who is more “terrified” by the people running our country than all the crazies in Islam, take one step forward.

Update: Review by Joshua Tyler, Cinema Blend.

Thank You for Smoking: The Movie

Posted on by
1

I mentioned how much I enjoyed watching Maria Bello pull on her unders in the film, Duets. I failed to mention that she will be appearing in an upcoming film based Christopher Buckley’s Thank You for Smoking, a very dark and funny novel. No idea if the movie will live up the the novel but you can listen to an interview with Buckley here. The film stars Aaron Eckhart with supporting roles by Bello, Rob Lowe, Katie Holmes and William H. Macy.

Duets

Posted on by
Reply

Netflix is just one more example of “the long tail.” I wanted to watch Duets last week but the guy at the video store looked at me like I was crazy. “We don’t stock the really old movies.”

If you work at Blockbuster, 2000 probably seems like eons ago. So I had Barb move it up on her Neflix list and the DVD arrived in yesterday’s mail. IMDB users rate the movie 5.7 out of 10 but I loved it both times I’ve watched it.

Huey Lewis plays a professional karaoke hustler who reconnects with his daughter (Gwyneth Paltrow) and a bored suburban businessman (Paul Giamattie) turns outlaw karaoke singer. But the most amazing performance was Andre Braugher’s.

Huey Lewis obviously performed his songs and it sounded like Paltrow did. But can Andre Braugher really sing that well? Probably not.

Favorite line: “Sorry, I’m going out for a pack of cigarettes.”
Most erotic scene: Maria Bello pulls on her undies. Sweet Jesus.

Documentary films: Super Size Me, The Smartest Guys in the Room

Posted on by

Watched two documentary films in the last few days. Super Size Me and Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room. I was very disturbed by both of these films. Gonna be a long time before I eat another Big Mac (or Sonic Coney, for that matter). My take-away from Enron? Our country is hopelessly corrupt and greedy. And maybe…just maybe… we do not live in the best country in the world. (Gasp!) Don’t bother looking for the Comments link. I’m not in the mood to listen to a bunch of “patriotic” horse shit. If you have something to say, start your own blog.

 

All we need is an ending

Posted on by
4

I have this idea for a screenplay but I’m thinking it’s already been done. And, if not, I don’t have an ending.

Famous female rock star breaks off high-profile engagement to equally famous sports figure. This tough, smart, independent woman hears her biological clock ticking and decides to have a baby on her own  and worry about meeting Mr. Right later (or never). But she needs sperm donor. The normal procedure sounds cold and sterile so she decides to do it the old fashioned way and starts looking for the lucky guy. Several humorous, unsuccessful candidates later, she’s about to give up when fate brings her together with The Guy.

He’s a romantic who wants nothing to do with the scheme but gets tricked into the sack and the deed gets done. She tries to give him a bunch of go-away money but he doesn’t want it and just goes back to his anonymous life.

A few months pass and the media notices that Famous Female Rock Star is in a family way and goes searching for the father. Relentless Reporter tracks down The Guy.

So we’ve got Girl-Meets-Boy…Girl-Loses-Boy… but I’m stuck on how to get them back together.

And I’m thinking this movie has already been made but I can’t come up with the title. Sounds a little like Notting Hill. Any of you film buffs out there help me out on this? Have I seen this movie and just forgotten it?

I kind of see Kevin Connolly as The Guy. And maybe Sienna Miller as The Rock Star? Would help if she could sing but not critical.

I’m gonna keep working on this because I want a happy ending for the Famous Female Rock Star.

Altman films “A Prairie Home Companion”

Posted on by
Reply

“It is an imagined last show and so it’s in the context of being taken over by a radio conglomerate, which is happening to a lot of radio shows at home.” Written by Garrison Keillor and starring Meryl Streep, Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones, Kevin Kline and Lily Tomlin. [Reuters story]

I always liked the Wolfman Jack scenes from American Graffiti. Something about being on the air, alone in a radio station at night. Something we’ll never experience with podcasting. That real-time connection with listeners in the middle of the night. Sigh.

Christmas in Connecticut Recipes

Posted on by
Reply

In this 1945 holiday classic, Barbara Stanyck plays a journalist, “one of the country’s most famous food writers. In her columns, she describes herself as a hard working farm woman, taking care of her children and being an excellent cook. But this is all lies. In reality she is an umarried New Yorker who can’t even boil an egg. The recipes come from her good friend Felix.”

Barb watches this movie every Christmas. If I were a recipe blogger (or magazine publisher), I’d try to come up with the recipe for every dish referenced in the film. A clever and imaginative challenge, if I do say so myself.