Photo stolen from my friend Chuck. And David shares this disturbing video.
Tag Archives: humor
Learn how to be a cigarette-safe kid
President Bush is proud to present, in cooperation with the Flammable Pleasures division of RJ Reynolds, vital and wholly accurate information that can make YOU a CIGARETTE-SAFE KID!
- Keep Cigarettes Safe from Water! Water causes wetness, and wetness can keep your cigarettes from properly igniting and efficiently delivering scientifically calibrated doses of totally non-addictive nicotine into those sticky little air sacks way at the bottom of your lungs!
- Bedtime Smoking Smarts! After bedtime prayers, nothing relaxes like a cool drag from a hot Winston (brand) cigarette.
- Keep Cigarettes Safe from Breaking! A sturdy and stylish cigarette case is what all the cool kids have!
- Let the Buyer Beware! When choosing an adult to ask to buy you cigarettes at a cruelly authoritarian, liberal-managed convenience store that won’t sell tobacco to persons under 18, make certain never to speak to anyone who looks like s/he might be on the Federal welfare rolls – they will steal your cigarettes, leaving you craving (in a purely nonaddictive way) a smoke ! !
- Remember: Fresh = Tasty! Never forget that an important part of the exclusive appeal of cigarettes is their highly perishable nature; they stay smokably fresh for only three to four hours after their cellophane seal is broken.
- Keep it Clean! If your preferred brand is filterless, your fingers and teeth may become pleasantly discolored by stubborn, yet fashionable nicotine stains.
- Smoke Right, Smoke Safe! As you get older, the way you hold your cigarette will become increasingly important.
[Thanks, Angela]
Gabe and Max’s Internet Thing
Gabe and Max explain “How to get the Dream Life of Your Dreams Using the Internet.” This is the kind of amateur video that Hollywood should be very concerned about. This is bone dry humor of the first order. Fax us your email address now! [Thanks, David]
Ditch Surfing
Shaving off my muff for you
Monkey Fez
The Order of the Fez now has enough members to play ping pong doubles. Please rise and join me in recognizing David Brazeal, Order of the Fez #4:
“Hereby is submitted my application to the Order of the Fez. Thanks to ebay, I have obtained a fez from a monkey trainer in Tel Aviv. It belonged to his dear, beloved macaque, Ahmed, who was recently crushed to death in a fruit stand accident.”
The Bank
Mike Relm
As impressed as I was with Blue Man Group, I was even more knocked out by the wizard that opened for them. Mike Relm is harder to describe than BMG. Take 1,000 milligrams of military grade amphetamine, mix it with an arena-sized sound system and a MacBook Pro.
Dilbert: Make a spreadsheet
When I grow up I want to be in advertising (reprise)
A co-worker emailed a (YouTube) link to this brilliant Monster.com spoof. It was familiar because I posted it here in November, 2004. Certainly worth another look and another link. How much great stuff is getting a fresh look because of YouTube?