“Don’t send me back to Bumfuck, Missouri!”

I grew up in a small town in Southeast Missouri. Like Mayberry during the 1950’s. Not so much these days. But there was never anything cool or exciting to do in our little town. No cool restaurants or bars or museums, just a sleepy little town surrounded by farms. For many of us, it was hard to leave for the bright lights of the big cities. No idea why.

But one of my friends ran for state representative (after a couple of failed business ventures) and won. When he got to Jefferson City (the state capital) he and the other newly elected reps got a little orientation from the leader of their caucus (GOP). Here’s how my friend described this introduction to the legislature (I’m paraphrasing but not off by much).

If you follow the party line and do exactly what the party leaders tell you, we can help you stay up here as long as you want. And help you go on to higher office. But if you don’t follow party leadership, we can make sure you serve one term only. And you’ll be back where you came from selling term life insurance. Your call.

Sad to say my friend didn’t have to think long about this. He got in line and stayed in line.

Now, think about the pols that make it to the Big Time: Washington D.C. Power, money, influence, privilege, fame. A heady mix. After a few years of this good life, they thought of going back to Bumfuck, Missouri is worse than a death sentence. You’ll do anything to get reelected. Anything. Because if you cross the wrong people they can send you back home where you’ll make speeches at the local Rotary luncheon.

This is what I think is haunting those willing to overturn what they know is a legitimate election. Oh, most of them wouldn’t have to go back to Bumfuck. They’d find someplace close to land. But it wouldn’t be the same. Yeah, they’d still have the house in Georgetown or Silver Springs and plenty of spending money. But it wouldn’t be the same. It would just be Rotary in a nicer restaurant.

A lot of fucking candles

“By 2015 we’ll have more Americans over 60 than under 15 — and that’s just the beginning. Demographers are predicting that more than half the children born in the developed world since 2000 will live to 100. We can expect to spend 6,000 days — nearly two decades — in retirement, while others state the first person to live to 150 is already alive.”
A New Vision for Retirement (Harvard Business Review)

“Welcome to the team. Don’t fuck it up.”

This article in The Atlantic was one of the more interesting pieces I read about the 2012 campaign and election. A few excerpts:

“If you look like an asshole, you have to be really good.”

They didn’t have to buy the traditional stuff like the local news, either. Instead, they could run ads targeted to specific types of voters during reruns or off-peak hours. 

With Twitter, one of the company’s former employees, Mark Trammell, helped build a tool that could specifically target individual users with direct messages. “We built an influence score for the people following the [Obama for America] accounts and then cross-referenced those for specific things we were trying to target, battleground states, that sort of stuff.”

Last but certainly not least, you have the digital team’s Quick Donate. It essentially brought the ease of Amazon’s one-click purchases to political donations. “It’s the absolute epitome of how you can make it easy for people to give money online,”

They learned what it was like to have — and work with people who had —  a higher purpose than building cool stuff.

They started to worry about the next Supreme Court Justices while they coded.

Mel Karmazin interview: “Fucking with the magic”

Mel Karmazin is the CEO of Sirius Satellite Radio. Before that he was head of CBS Radio. For most of his career he has been known as a “Wall Street darling” for his ability to drive up the price of his various companies’ stock. Don Imus frequently referred to him as the Zen Master. Let’s just say he knows a lot about radio and advertising. I was struck by his description of advertising and frank assessment that Google was “fucking with the magic.”

“I loved the model that I had then. At that point I had… I was the CEO of  CBS and I had a model where you buy a commercial… if you’re an advertiser you buy a commercial in the Super Bowl and, at that time, you paid two-and-a-half million dollars for a spot and had no idea if it worked. I mean, you had no idea if it sold product… did any good… I loved that model! That was a great model! And why …if I can get away with that model… if I’m in the business where I can sell advertising that way, why wouldn’t I want to do it?

No return on investment. And you know how everybody looks for return on investment? We had a a business model that didn’t worry about return on investment and then here comes Google. They screwed it up. They went to all these advertisers and said, we’ll let you know exactly what it is.”

Oooh. Reminds me of the old saw, “I know that only half of my advertising works, I just don’t know which half.” The full interview is worth a watch and confirmed my feeling that a real sea change (in advertising) is taking place.

God Will Fuck You Up

AUDIO: God Will Fuck You Up

Freaking. Fricking. But no fucking.

The censors (does anyone think of themselves as a “censor”?) at FX went through Good Will Hunting, carefully replacing each “fucking” with “freaking” or “fricking” (what the fuck is fricking?). That just seems so…dishonest to me. I don’t care what anybody says, it’s not the same same movie when you start cutting scenes and replacing words. Fuck it.

“I want more life, fucker.”

I had my 54th birthday a week or so back and this line (from Ridley Scott’s 1982 scil-fi classic, Blade Runner) kept running through my head. Replicant Roy Batty (Rutger Hauer) goes to see Eldon Tyrell (Joe Turkel), the scientist that “designed” the not-quite-human Roy. Tyrell attempts to comfort Roy:

“The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long – and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy.”

But Roy’s not having any of it and proceeds to poke Tyrell’s eyes out. As Roy observes,

“It’s not an easy thing to meet your maker”

…but I thought he handled himself pretty well. He came for some answers –if not a solution to his problem– and he was damn well gonna get them.

The replicants of Blade Runner only got four years (I think Sean Young’s character got more than that) but it wasn’t so much how many years they got as that they knew when they were going to die. Maybe in the end, Pris (played by Daryl Hannah) got it right:

“Then we’re stupid and we’ll die.”

We are and we will.