Mays in centerfield

It is 1958. July. About dusk. I’m standing in deep centerfield of the baseball diamond at Jones Memorial Park. I can hear music coming from the ice cream place across the street, behind me. I’m not really daydreaming but I’m not completely focused on the game, either. I might be closer to the ice cream place than to home plate.

A sharp “crack” yanks me back to the game. The crowd is yelling and looking in my direction. But up. A high, fly ball is coming my way. I frantically search the sky. If I don’t get a visual lock on the fly ball, it could land at my feet. It could smash into my face and kill me. I spot it. Coming straight down. It seems almost motionless, just getting larger and larger. There’s no time to raise my glove hand but I manage to get it open at my waist. Two thousand miles to the west, another Mays is standing in centerfield, Candlestick Park, executing a far more relaxed version of this same maneuver.

Back at Jones Memorial Park, the ball ricochets off my bony, ten-year-old chest and into my glove. Because of the distance and the angle, the crowd sees only Mays, in deep centerfield, making a perfect “basket catch.” But we’re not related.

Junior High Basketball Team

I think Frank Proctor made me memorize the state capitols and all of the U. S. presidents (I no longer know either). One summer he started his “Merry Mobile” business. He drove up and down the streets of Kennett selling frozen treats. He was also the junior high basketball coach and one of my greatest achievments was “making” the team. I loved playing basketball in the back yard but was terrible at the real thing. I warmed benches through the 10th grade before hanging up my Chuck Taylors and rediscovered the joy of the game at the city park. The Web cannot be complete without this photo of the Kennett Junior High Basketball Team.

Kennett 8th Grade Basketball Team

Back Row: Terry Hunter, Mike Shipman, Robert Taylor, Phil Ayers, Buddy Shivley, Jerry Bird, Otis Mitchell, Randy Carter, Brett Baker. Front Row: Tommy LaTurno, Ben Pickard, Larry Hale, Bruce Baker, Steve Mays, John Robison, Tommy Saunches, Darrell Jackson, Tony Stewart.

Self Portrait

A couple of years ago I confessed that I thought I looked my best in theatre restrooms. Now I’ve done the unthinkable. I photographed myself in that challenging setting. In the tradition of all great risk-takers, I had no cover story in the event someone walked in.

Wal-Mart Super Centers, etc.

From a website called Scarf Creations:

“Mike Smith has been a Elvis fan since he was 3 years old, when he heard his dad’s 8 track of Elvis. Mike’s career started when he was 25 years old and he performed in Kennett, Missouri. Mike has performed throughout Missouri, Arkansas, Illinois and Tennessee… at private parties, nursing homes, charity events, country clubs, restaurants, Wal-Mart Super Centers, etc. I perform in three stages of “Elvis” from his wild suits, 68 leather , to his most famous jumpsuits.”

“Besides doing Elvis, Mike works full time for Pepsi Mid-America in Sikeston, Missouri. I have performed 75 shows in the 3 years of my career as an Elvis impersonator and my recent being “The Jailhouse Rock” in Illinois.”

5 good responses for telemarketers or collection agencies

Merlin, lives in San Francisco, California where he “drinks coffee and listens to Canadian power pop” and makes lists. Let’s add Merlin to the list of people I’d like to know just a little bit.

1. I’m sorry, but what does this have to do with human sacrifice?
2. Seriously, will you still be this interested in me after we’ve dated for a while?
3. Would you be able to tell if I were defecating right now?
4. I am French. Your money means nothing to me.
5. I can smell your panties through the phone.

Religious sites devoted to Elvis

“The number of religious sites devoted to the King is just staggering: Church of Elvis, The Eighth Day Transfigurist Cult, Elvis Sance, The Elvis Shrine, The First Church of Jesus Christ, Elvis, The Gospel of Elvis, Little Shrine to the King, and Oracle of the Plywood Elvis, and of course, The First Presleyterian Church of Elvis the Divine.”

The review above was written by Kimberly Villalba Wright. I’m pretty sure I don’t know Kimberly but according to the credits on the review, she “was born in Hollywood, Florida, and has spent most of her life in Mobile, Alabama. She earned a BA in English at the University of South Alabama in 1997. Her poetry has appeared in the Epiphany, Arrowsmith, Doggerel, Dicat Libre, El Locofoco, as well as Poetry Caf. This fall, Wright will begin working toward an MFA in creative Writing at the University of Memphis. Wright currently resides in Kennett, Missouri.”

Kimberly… I’ll be in town Christmas Eve. Let’s hook up, pound some Buds and remember The King.

First and only woman executed in Missouri

Half a century ago, radios throughout the country were broadcasting the news that a woman had died in Missouri’s gas chamber… the first– and so far, the only –woman ever executed in a state prison. Bonnie Brown Heady of St. Joseph and her lover Carl Hall had been convicted less than a month earlier of the kidnapping and murder of a little Kansas City boy, Bobby Greenlease. Former prison caseworker Gail Hughes remembers the Heady execution in an interview with Bob Priddy.

Aileene Hanks

A nice lady named Pat found her way to my KBOA830.com website (“I have no idea why my mother-in-law had this post card. You may keep it. I have decided I cannot keep everything.”). Google revealed that Aileene Hanks (Anna Aileene Hanks Williams) wrote and recorded a song called “In My Father’s House Are Many Mansions.” The song was recorded by The Blackwood Brothers in 1954 and later by Elvis in 1960 (You can hear Elvis’s version on “His Hand in Mine; Amazing Grace CD1). In a pre-Web world, Pat would never have found my KBOA site and I wouldn’t have been able to find out anything about Aileene Hanks or that Elvis had recorded her son. So, are we better off that we did? I believe so.

Sounds where there should be none

“That sound in the wall was not good. That was no skittering mousy or even gallopy rat sound. That was something altogether different. Suddenly the vent that mysteriously bent open a while back seemed terribly ominous. I immediately ran and got several drywall screws and screwed it shut all cockeyed and cartoonishly like a crazy person.”

— From Nikol Lohr’s The Disgruntled Housewife