“If we really want to stop terrorism, we have to get Muslim men laid.”
Bill Maher on stopping terrorism
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Category Archives: Miscellany
Andy Rooney on gay marriage
“No one can get a drivers license or fly an airplane without taking a test. Why should marriage be any different? If you want to make marriage more stable, make divorce illegal. If people knew they couldn’t get out of it, they’d be more careful getting into it.”
St. Louis Traffic and Weather.
I finally got around to listening to the new “local weather & traffic” channels on XM Radio. Twenty-one cities to start, including St. Louis. I can’t speak to the accuracy of the content but it sounded like most other weather and traffic reports to me. For that matter, I have no way of knowing –without being in it every day– the accuracy of such reports on local stations. I did like the continuous feeds. If I didn’t want to wait 10 minutes for the next report on KMOX, I could punch up XM 218 and get it almost immediately.
Reading corner
For just a few minutes, following a brief shower, we got some of that strange light that made everything look a little unreal.
Lucy: 7 Weeks
House-training a new puppy builds character. Like computers, this experience teaches patience. While Lucy is not fully house-broken, she’s well on the way. Sleeping through the night tolerated by Ripley (our other Golden). Next weekend I solo when Barb goes on firm retreat.
I don’t like kids
I don’t like kids. There. I said it. Some people don’t like dogs or cats… I don’t like kids. No need to get into all the reasons because it doesn’t matter. This is a very socially unacceptable view but I suspect there are others who secretly share it. People with children must pretend they like your children so you will feel obligated to pretend you like theirs. As you might have guessed, I don’t have children. And, I have been told countless times: “If you had children of your own, you’d feel differently.” I think that’s probably true.
I have this theory that all parents undergo a molecular change the moment their children are born. This change in brain chemistry is what keeps them from murdering the little darlings in the first few months. Yes, I know I was a child once. That only supports my position. I’m willing to admit this is a serious flaw in my character and I’ll work on it. And you can help me. When little Brad is screaming at the top of his lungs in the restaurant, take him outside. Or home. Don’t bring Tiffanie to the Lord of the Rings unless she’s old enough or well behaved enough to watch it quietly. If not, spring for a baby-sitter.
I’m happy to pay property taxes to help educate America’s children. Your job is to try to keep them from turning into drug dealers, priests, politicians and other dangerous adults. If you succeed in rearing a decent human being, send them around. I’d love to meet them.
Five more proposed pieces of legislation supported by Mr. Bush
1. Protection of Words Fewer than Three Syllables Act
2. Bill to make the “High Five” the US’s official greeting
3. National ‘Everybody Wears Jeans’ Day (March 14th)
4. The “Pretty Girls Shouldn’t Act All Stuck Up” Amendment
5. Presidential proclamation that “California Must Apologize to Jesus (and It Has to Sound Like They Really Mean It)”
Key West Wedding
Stephanie and Adam got married on February 13, 2004 (a Friday). The ceremoney was held on a beach in Key West about 20 feet from where I had been drinking all afternoon. It was a really nice wedding. This video clip (6 meg) might take a few minutes to download. Barb posted some still images at Fotki (a great site, BTW). Toko Irie provided the music.
Or wherever your final destination may be
I really hate flying. I hate everything about it. The short list includes:
* The shitty little bags of pretzels
* The chemical smell of the toilets
* The morons that refuse to check the baggage and slow the boarding process to a crawl as the park their fat asses in the aisle trying to shove stuff into the overheads. These same dumb-asses can’t grasp the concept of “wait until we reach the gate before standing up and pulling your shit back out.”
Air travel makes me resent people in wheelchairs…and old women on walkers…and children. Funerals and weddings of loved ones will get me on a plane again but it will be an act of duty and obligation. If I don’t look like I’m having fun when I get where I’m going it’s probably because I’m not.
Yes, Key West was warm and beautiful. And only a real party-pooper would complain about getting there and back. But the math doesn’t work for me. I need 100 hours of fun for every hour of travel time, and I never get it. And I never will. Let’s try this. I’ll spend a weekend on the beach with you for every weekend you spend sitting next to me while I surf the web. Come on, it’ll be fun.
Key West Notebook.
About 12 degrees when we left Kansas City. Then Atlanta. Then Ft. Lauderdale. Then Key West. Luggage didn’t make it. Left Ft. Lauderdale just after sundown in small 10-seater. Looking back at the lights of the city brought back memories of all the John D. novels where Travis jumped or was thrown overboard (I don’t think he ever fell overboard.) Toasty warm upon arrival.