“I just work here”

During my affiliate relations days, it wasn’t uncommon to run into a radio station manger who had a beef with one part of our company and took it out on the division I worked for. And I’m certain it went the other way, too.

In my desperation to save an affiliation, I’m sure I said, “But that’s not me. That’s a completely different part of our company. You can’t punish me for what they did.”

Wrong. He can and he did. It was all Learfield as far as he was concerned. Seth Godin reminds us of this in today’s post:

“If you’re not proud of where you work, go work somewhere else. You don’t get the benefit of the brand when it’s hot without accepting the blame of the brand when it’s wrong.”

How far would you walk for a cup of Rocket Fuel?

5.1 miles according to Google Maps. And — as Google predicted– it took just about 1 hour and 40 minutes.

The battery on my 12 year old 4 Runner conked out Sunday evening. A neighbor jumped me and I dropped the car at the local Toyota dealer.  This morning I could have called someone for a lift to work but that would have meant missing my visit to the Coffee Zone.

So I set out on foot just before 6 a.m., with a sign taped to my back that read: “Latte for a ride.” I figured I’d get a ride in no time. Seriously, I thought it was cute (but later learned it was just creepy). I left just before 6 a.m.

Big strong men in pick-up trucks passed me by. They were either afraid of me or just didn’t give a shit.

90 minutes later I arrived at the Coffee Zone, sweaty with two quarter-sized blisters on the bottom of my feet. When the oil is all gone I’ll be able to ride a bike down the middle of the street.

Tape and resume requested

During my radio days (70’s and early 80’s) it was common practice to check the job listings in the back of Broadcasting (a trade publication) to see who was hiring. (The main reason station managers didn’t leave the magazine lying round.) Most of those ads ended with “Tape and resume requested.”

The tape was also called an “air check” and usually worked something like this:

Let’s say I did a four hour air shift each afternoon. I would record it and later edit out everything except the parts where I was saying something clever or –at the very least– saying something in a deep, resonant voice.

If I was doing a record show, my air check consisted primarily of my introductions to songs. This was in the day when the DJ “talked over” the instrumental intro to a song and it was considered something of a skill to be able to chatter mindlessly right up the instant the vocal started. DJ’s prided themselves in knowing the exact length of the intros to popular songs.

So the air check –once it had been “telescoped”– had this weird “this is/that was” quality. I did a lot of air checks and they always reminded me of how little I was actually adding to the listeners’ experience.

And the voice was important back in those days. Deep, full, rich voices were highly prized. “What” you said was considered less important than “how” you said it. “Good pipes” were much in demand.

And many (most?) DJ’s had this strange, over-modulated, swallow-your-words way of talking. I’d give you an audio example but it’s too painful and embarrassing to recall.

It’s a short hop from one of those telescoped air checks to the realization that –with the new computers and software– a DJ could record his or her part of that four hour air shift in far less time. Which would mean we could cover more air shfits with fewer DJ’s and take all that money to the bank.

As the cost of satellite distribution came down, group owners figured out they could have a few talented folks in one part of the country “voice track” shows for LOTS of radio stations. Even more savings.

I remember spinning records for 5 or 6 hours at a time, and thinking this is not a good use of my great talent. But I’m really glad I didn’t miss that part of the radio experience. Going into a studio to voice-track several hours of “my show” would seem to be very… unsatisfying. Like being a sperm donor.

I don’t know what it’s like working at a radio station these days. I hope it’s still fun. I remember Charlie Earls (the owner of our station) saying something along the lines of: “If we make enough money to pay the bills, and have fun in the process, that’s a good deal.”

I’m thinking you don’t hear that much anymore.

Nothing is forever. Except everything.

tattoo250-dcI came this close to getting a tattoo while in D.C. last week. Changed my mind at the last minute and knew immediately it was the right decision. It wasn’t the permanence of a tattoo that changed my mind. Rather, the insight that tattoos are not permanent.

Oh sure, that ink will be beneath your skin for a lifetime, but how long is that, really. A blink of the Cosmic Eye. Is there really that much difference between a child’s lick-it-and-stick-it tattoo and an some elaborate kanji that translates to: “I’m a dip-shit who thinks this is ‘Bad Ass’ in Japanese?”

If you’ve stayed with me this far, you can understand why the Sharpie-drawn fez by the talented Mr. Roe has the same metaphysical lifespan as any other tattoo.

Lance on why he and Sheryl Crow split

“She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn’t want that, but I didn’t want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I’d just had kids [Luke, Grace and Bella],” Armstrong, 37, reveals. “Yet we’re up against her biological clock — that pressure is what cracked it.” — New York Post.

“Homeless American”

adv4foodOn the way home from the airport yesterday I gave some money to a man sitting at an intersection. I don’t usually do that and I’m not sure why I did this time. But I think it was something about the sign he was holding. It read simply: “Homeless American.”

Now, I don’t know if he was homeless (he looked the part) or American, but something about the sign spoke to me. The simplicity? Maybe. For the rest of my trip I thought about the signs used by… beggars? Too Third World. Panhandlers? Let’s go with that.

How important is the sign? Without it, I might have thought he was just looking for a ride, so I think the sign is a must. Usually brown cardboard and almost always lettered with black marker.

But most important of all would seem to be what your sign says. Haven’t seen “will work for food” for a while (Sounds a little too much like a negotiation.) Can’t be too long if you’re working an intersection or even busy pedestrians.

Is there some secret list of Great Signs That Work Every Time? I’m thinking it ain’t on line so they must move it from hand to hand.

Some would insist the guy I saw —and those like him— are lazy and could get a job if they wanted one. I’m not so sure.