A co-worker emailed a (YouTube) link to this brilliant Monster.com spoof. It was familiar because I posted it here in November, 2004. Certainly worth another look and another link. How much great stuff is getting a fresh look because of YouTube?
Category Archives: Business & Marketing
George Carlin on mindless marketing blather
AdRants points us to a wonderful 4 min bit of a George Carlin performance:
“More than half of what comes out of your mouth in that client presentation is mindless, pointless, idiotic sounding, space-filling blather. Don’t you want meetings to be shorter? Aren’t you sick of fake words that mean nothing? Wouldn’t you rather be actually creating something rather than killing it with the boatload of words you throw at it before you ever show it to the client? Of course you would. So stop talking like an idiot.”
I’ve been working hard in recent years to do more listening than talking in meetings with clients. I’m not there. I still talk too much. But I’m making progress.
The experiment I’m dying to try is to record (audio) one of the client presentations. And then transcribe it. That is when we will see just how mindless and pointless most of our blather is. The simple truth is, we can’t hear how dumb we sound while we’re talking.
Why you didn’t get the business
Reply
Mary Schmidt (“Business Developer, Marketing Troubleshooter”) explains why you didn’t get her business. Her original list grew so long she’s posting these little goodies in three parts. Here are a few of my favorites from her first batch:
4. Your web site looks abandoned. (Copyright 2004? Are you even still in business?)
5. Your web site doesn’t tell me how to call you.
6. You never, ever answer your phone. It always go to voice mail.
7. You did more talking than I did in our first meeting.
8. You insisted on going through your entire sales presentation, slide by slide, line by line – even when I said, “I already know that” and “Yes, I already saw that.”
9. You talk about “solutions” but never tell me how you’re going to solve my problem.
10. You’re “invisible.” Like it or not, showing up in a Google search (or not) is a credibility factor these days.
11. You only call or email when you’re trying to sell me something.
12. You think having my business card with my email address is the same as having my permission to flood my inbox with junk.
16. Your “free education seminar” was nothing more than a sales pitch
This should be required reading before every sales presentation. Thanks to David for the pointer.
Apple ditches “Mac Guy” in new ads
Apple’s “I’m a Mac” campaign is almost perfect: It’s funny, memorable, and efficiently lays out the advantages of Macs over PCs. Its only defect: Virtually everyone who watches it comes away liking the “PC guy” while wanting to push the “Mac guy” under a bus.
Justin Long (the “Mac guy”) is out. The campaign’s other principals, director Phil Morrison and journo-humorist John Hodgman, are both returning for another round of spots.
According to Seth Stevenson, ad critic for Slate, Long is “just the sort of unshaven, hoodie-wearing, hands-in-pockets hipster we’ve always imagined when picturing a Mac enthusiast…. It’s like Apple is parodying its own image while also cementing it.” Of the polymathic Hodgman, Stevenson writes, “Even as he plays the chump in these Apple spots, his humor and likability are evident.” — Radar Online
I didn’t find the Mac guy ‘a smug little twit.’ Hmmm. I shudder to think what that says about moi.
Scott Adams: Knowing when to quit
“You usually have to try a bunch of things before luck has an opportunity to find you. So how do you know when to bail out of a losing idea? … I heard a useful rule about predicting success during my (failed) attempt at creating a hit Dilbert animated TV show: If everyone exposed to a product likes it, the product will not succeed. The reason that a product “everyone likes” will fail is because no one “loves” it. The only thing that predicts success is passion, even if only 10% of the consumers have it. … Great ideas catch on immediately, and passionately, at least with the early adopters.”
— Scott Adams
New Get a Mac ads (2006)
If you haven’t seen the new series of Get a Mac ads you probably will. The Better Results ad hits close to home for me because I used Windows apps to create videos for the three or four years. It worked, but…
Counselor and Self Pity both make their respective points very cleverly. I have never seen a campaign bring out so many different versions of an ad, so quickly, and keep the quality so high. [link above is to a compilation of all the ads]
What the foosball?!
I posted/whined previously how annoying and silly I find it when cable channels air movies with “objectionable” words (I don’t object to ANY words) and substitute some non-sense word for the naughty one.
The folks at AMC have taken an interesting approach to this tactic. While showing Fargo, they broke for commercials by putting up a graphic with a bunch of non-sense words beginning with the letter F (announcer voice-over saying these words). The announcer then says something along the lines of “Steve Buscemi said the F-word ten times in that last scene…but that’s okay.”
Almost as though they’re embarrassed by the need to make the silly substitutions and poke a little fun at themselves. Interesting.
Google going forward with radio plans
Google CEO Eric Schmidt says Google’s plans to begin placing radio ads by the end of this year remain on schedule, contradicting recent talk within the industry that the company had postponed the project.
“The tests are going extremely well,” said Schmidt, who added Google eventually plans to employ about 1,000 workers in its radio division. [E-Commerce Times via Hear 2.0]
My kind of contract
Roger brought back a copy of the affiliation contract for The Davey Ramsey Show (financial advice?) from the recent meeting of the National Association of Broadcasters. They shove all kinds of promotional stuff under the door to your hotel room every night and this was in Roger’s pile one morning. I’m not familiar with the program but I love the contract. One page (front only). I spent my youth (okay, my middle years) trying to get people to sign affiliation contracts with our networks.
I did my best to keep them simple and understandable. But our attorneys never let me go this far. Here’s the full contract (PDF) and here are a few paragraphs:
Thank you for deciding to include The Dave Ramsey Show as part of your station lineup. Are you looking for a big, detailed contract? They are a pain and quite frankly, we don’t feel like dealing with them. Below you will find afew points that will guide our relationship. Please initial each one and return the contract via fax to 615-372-0573 (confidentiality assured).
1. You like us and we like you and therefore are agreeing to work together. You are going to start airing the program on station (station info)
3. Now that you have decided to carry The Dave Ramsey Show we will not be available for another station in your market. Don’t know why we have to state that we are not interested in cutting our legs out from under ourselves, but I guess this market exclusivity thing is a big deal.
5. Let’s try this. The Dave Ramsey Show should be carried LIVE. We think it is a mistake if it is not aired live. However, we understand that some stations are not able to make this happen. For now that is acceptable. All we want you to do is let us know that after we start winning for your station, that you will consider us for a live slot. You are not guaranteeing us this slot, you are not promising this slot, you are simply letting us know that you will consider it. Come on, is that too much to ask? We should be live anyway.
I don’t know how good this is from a legal standpoint, but it’s good marketing or PR or something. And in my experience, most contracts with radio stations weren’t worth much. My hat is off to whomever wrote this agreement.
NAB Radio Show: Podcasting session
Scott’s notes and impressions from the podcasting session at the NAB Radio Show. I am assuming the focus was on how broadcasters can use podcasting.
- Rather slow and uneventful (although the panel was loaded with the right kind of people)
- Subscriptions should be for extra stuff only
- Merchandise is huge rev source
- Repurposing interviews and special segments GOOD. Normal programming BAD. But time shifting is GOOD. ????
- Listeners don’t mind commercials if content is good and on-demand.
- The guy next to me breathes very, very loudly.
- Podcast listeners are more apt to be info junkies.
- None on this panel seem excited or comfortable.
- Use podcasting to distribute info/ent that you wouldn’t normally spend valuable air time for.
- Perishable programming – content must always be fresh but must have a long shelf life too. People have to be able to come back and relive or discover (archives) and that info/content must be relevant.
- Ads are the killer. Ads have to be current at all times. PodShow’s tech allows the show to be assembled with current ads whenever the consumer downloads.
- Length – 22 min for audio, 5 for video.
- Podcasts must promote interaction.
- All of this (podcasting, mp3, internet) comes from telephones. It will all go back to telephones. No more “ipod only” products. Speculation.