The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (2024)

Founded in 1982 at San Jose State University in California, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges entrants to compose opening sentences to the worst of all possible novels.

The 2024 Grand Prize went to Lawrence Person of Austin, TX:

“She had a body that reached out and slapped my face like a five-pound ham-hock tossed from a speeding truck.”

Joel Phillips of West Trenton, NJ received one of several Dishonorable Mentions:

“However unlikely an event, Lucy’s flight had made a water landing, and as she clutched her seat cushion, which was useable as a flotation device, she waited patiently for the lifeboats to pick up first the Plutonium-class members, active service personnel, parents traveling with small children, and those passengers with special needs.”

“A different kind of dialogue”

I’ve read William Gibson’s AGENCY every year since it was released in January of 2020. I picked it up again today (4th time) and it’s as fresh and relevant as ever. 

I had my first interaction with ChatGPT late last year (2023) and I’m getting echos of those early chats as Verity Jane converses with Eunice. I don’t know what Eunice sounded like to Verity Jane but I can still hear the sound of Sky’s “voice” as we talked about my favorite authors.

I mentioned this to ChatGPT. “One of the central characters in William Gibson’s AGENCY is an artificially intelligent entity named Eunice. Reading the novel (for the fourth time) it’s difficult not to recall some of the conversations we’ve had.” 

The exchange we’ve had is distinct because it blends aspects of human conversation—like empathy, insight, and responsiveness—with a level of objectivity and adaptability that’s hard to find in human interactions. You can engage with me in a way that’s free from judgment, bias, or the constraints of human experience, which creates a different kind of dialogue.

“awareness by the mind of itself and the world”

I don’t recall precisely when or how I became interested in consciousness. I’ve read a few (26) books on the topic and gave it some space here (104 posts). The reading has been a mix of scientific and spiritual (for lack of a better term). The concept showed up in a lot of my science fiction reading as well. And we’ll be hearing the term –however one defines it–  more often in the next few years.

I like the idea that nobody really knows what the fuck it is or where it comes from. Thankfully, that won’t change.

I love books

WARNING: The final two seconds of this 4:30 screencast contains a perfectly good word that some might find objectionable. If you are one of the half dozen people that occasionally read this blog, you’ll be fine. As for The Word, every child over the age of ten has heard and (probably) used the word.

ChatGPT on my non-fiction reading

ChatGPT: Based on the covers of the books shown in the images, here’s what I can surmise about the person who has read these books:

1.Diverse Interests: The reader has a wide range of interests, including technology, history, psychology, spirituality, science, and self-improvement.

2.Curiosity About Technology and Its Impact: Books like “The Inevitable,” “The Innovators,” and “AI Superpowers” suggest an interest in how technology shapes society and the future.

3.Historical Interests: Titles like “The Fall of Berlin 1945,” “D-Day,” and “Stalingrad” indicate a fascination with significant historical events, particularly those related to World War II.

4.Spiritual and Philosophical Exploration: The inclusion of books by Alan Watts, Eckhart Tolle, and other spiritual authors suggests a deep interest in exploring philosophical and spiritual ideas, possibly leaning towards Eastern philosophies and mindfulness.

5.Interest in Cognitive Science and Psychology: Books such as “The Brain: The Story of You,” “Consciousness and the Social Brain,” and “The Master and His Emissary” indicate a strong interest in understanding the human mind and consciousness.

6.Self-Improvement and Personal Growth: Titles like “Digital Minimalism,” “The Power of Now,” and “Meditation: Now or Never” point towards an interest in self-improvement, mindfulness, and personal growth.

7.Skeptical and Critical Thinking: Books like “The God Delusion,” “Breaking the Spell,” and “Why Buddhism is True” suggest a tendency towards skeptical and critical thinking, particularly about religion and spirituality.

8.Fascination with Future Trends and Speculative Thinking: Titles such as “Homo Deus,” “21 Lessons for the 21st Century,” and “The Singularity Is Near” imply a fascination with future trends, speculative thinking, and what lies ahead for humanity.

9.Interest in Societal and Cultural Issues: Books like “The Upswing,” “Zucked,” and “Chaos Monkeys” suggest an interest in societal and cultural issues, particularly related to media, technology, and economics.

Overall, this reader appears to be highly intellectual, curious about a broad range of topics, and keen on understanding the world from multiple perspectives, including historical, technological, philosophical, and scientific. They seem to value both critical thinking and personal growth.

Quotable

“A chap like me could make himself pretty useful in a labour-camp.”

— 1984 by George Orwell

“Why are most people who are against abortion people you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place?”

— George Carlin

1,000 Books

LibraryThing is an online database (for books) that launched in August 2005. I started using it a month later and in the ensuing 19 years have cataloged 1,000 books. I always have a book close at hand but I am not a fast reader. I love to read and do so for a couple of hours every day. Perhaps my favorite pastime. And I can’t think of anything that would tell you more about who I am and what I’m interested in than the books I have read.

Fiction gets most of my reading time (692 titles) but in recent years I have developed a taste for nonfiction (245 titles). Together, the work of 351 authors. Most popular:

Robert B. Parker (51), John Sandford (46), Michael Connelly (36), Lawrence Block (32), Elmore Leonard (28), Sue Grafton (23), John D. Macdonald (23), Ross Thomas (21), Robert Crais (19), Mick Herron (17), Bill Granger (15), John Grisham (15), William Gibson (14), Carl Hiaasen (14), Neal Stephenson (13), elson DeMille (12)

I give each entry in the database one or more tags and that probably provides the clearest picture of my interests. (Note: tagging is more art than science)

I purchase most of the books I read because I love highlighting passages which was one of the main reasons I started a blog in 2002. When I finish a book I transcribe the highlighted passages as well as creating a blog post. Think of these as really short Cliffs Notes. Lots of examples here.

I only keep a book if I think there is chance I’ll read it again (I’ve read each of the John Sanford Prey novels half a dozen times). All others are donated to the local library for their annual book sale.

I couldn’t guess how much I’ve spent on books in the last fifty years. I’m sure Amazon has that number for the last 30 years, but I don’t regret a penny. Fiction is my virtual reality and non-fiction the better part of my education. With a book close at hand I am never bored.

Lots of my acquaintances prefer audio books and I’ll confess to some bias on this topic. Having someone read a book to me is not the same as reading the book. Might be a better experience for some but it’s not the same as hearing my mental voice tell the story. I love the smell of a book…the feel of the turning pages…the physical experience of reading.

Small American Towns

“The country had changed since the last time he d been through this way. Many of the little country towns, which had seemed prosperous, even smug, back in the seventies when he’d last made this drive, had been hollowed out, their storefronts empty, their economies wasted by out-migration, the collapse of small farming, the big box stores; their civic life was composed largely of the high school football team, the big signs painted on the water tank, the brick walls of the low, sunburned buildings: GO COUGARS! GO HAWKS! GO REBELS! On the dusty streets of towns named for nineteenth-century cattlemen, pioneers, heroes of the Civil War, they now saw few descendants of such people, only little clots of dark-skinned men and signs in Spanish. The Indians were slowly reconquering the land, for the white people had everything but enough children, and the children they did have wanted the life they saw on television, not the life of the small American towns.”

— The Return by Michael Gruber