“Don’t send me back to Bumfuck, Missouri!”

I grew up in a small town in Southeast Missouri. Like Mayberry during the 1950’s. Not so much these days. But there was never anything cool or exciting to do in our little town. No cool restaurants or bars or museums, just a sleepy little town surrounded by farms. For many of us, it was hard to leave for the bright lights of the big cities. No idea why.

But one of my friends ran for state representative (after a couple of failed business ventures) and won. When he got to Jefferson City (the state capital) he and the other newly elected reps got a little orientation from the leader of their caucus (GOP). Here’s how my friend described this introduction to the legislature (I’m paraphrasing but not off by much).

If you follow the party line and do exactly what the party leaders tell you, we can help you stay up here as long as you want. And help you go on to higher office. But if you don’t follow party leadership, we can make sure you serve one term only. And you’ll be back where you came from selling term life insurance. Your call.

Sad to say my friend didn’t have to think long about this. He got in line and stayed in line.

Now, think about the pols that make it to the Big Time: Washington D.C. Power, money, influence, privilege, fame. A heady mix. After a few years of this good life, they thought of going back to Bumfuck, Missouri is worse than a death sentence. You’ll do anything to get reelected. Anything. Because if you cross the wrong people they can send you back home where you’ll make speeches at the local Rotary luncheon.

This is what I think is haunting those willing to overturn what they know is a legitimate election. Oh, most of them wouldn’t have to go back to Bumfuck. They’d find someplace close to land. But it wouldn’t be the same. Yeah, they’d still have the house in Georgetown or Silver Springs and plenty of spending money. But it wouldn’t be the same. It would just be Rotary in a nicer restaurant.