With the loneliness epidemic impacting millions of Americans, book clubs offer a simple and structured way for readers of all ages to socialize. The Onion shares tips for starting your own book club.

• Seek out fellow readers by blackmailing a librarian into giving up names.
• Choose the day of the month that works best for everyone to cancel on.
• Make sure you have a good mix of people who will keep the book discussion going and people you actually like.
• Select one of three books not banned by your state.
• Establish a rotation order for club members to take turns shooting down each other’s book suggestions.
• Bookmark the Dictionary.com page for “glib” for easy future reference.
• Challenge your club with a book written in an ancient, untranslatable language.
• Establish independent election monitors to maintain legitimacy of the book selection process.
• Spend five to six years seeking your doctorate in comparative literature so you can absolutely smoke your friends with your opinion on A Court Of Thorns And Roses.
• Keep your meetings on topic by dressing in an intimidating leather outfit and occasionally cracking your knuckles.
• Make sure that everyone is hitting their page goals by administering regular pop quizzes, a midterm, and a final.
• Spread the hosting duties around so that, a few months from now, you can easily shed yourself of this albatross of a social commitment once and for all.