Founded in 1982 at San Jose State University in California, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges entrants to compose opening sentences to the worst of all possible novels.

The 2024 Grand Prize went to Lawrence Person of Austin, TX:

“She had a body that reached out and slapped my face like a five-pound ham-hock tossed from a speeding truck.”

Joel Phillips of West Trenton, NJ received one of several Dishonorable Mentions:

“However unlikely an event, Lucy’s flight had made a water landing, and as she clutched her seat cushion, which was useable as a flotation device, she waited patiently for the lifeboats to pick up first the Plutonium-class members, active service personnel, parents traveling with small children, and those passengers with special needs.”