I’ve had a 5ives tag since 2004. Merlin Mann stopped making these lists somewhere along the way but the archive is still there and his humor timeless. Like so many, he now haunts the crumbling halls of Twitter. So I’m killing the tag and sharing the three lists here.
Five things I’d like to see engraved on little rubber bracelets:
- Nap Strong
- My Other Bracelet is Fighting Colon Cancer
- America: Shut Thy Pie Hole
- Kiss Me, Im Trendy
- Please Watch Arrested Development
Five ass-related words
- metric assload (n.) – a lot
- asshat (n.) – willfully ignorant person
- assy (adj.) – unacceptably low-quality
- big-ass (adj.) – large
- asstacular (adj.) – really bad
Five more proposed pieces of legislation supported by George W. Bush
- Protection of Words Fewer than Three Syllables Act
- Bill to make the “High Five” the US’s official greeting
- National ‘Everybody Wears Jeans’ Day (March 14th)
- The “Pretty Girls Shouldn’t Act All Stuck Up” Amendment
- Presidential proclamation that “California Must Apologize to Jesus (and It Has to Sound Like They Really Mean It)”