I suffer from “fast mouth.” Someone will say or do something and before my mind can engage, I blurt out some smart-ass or unkind remark. Seconds later, my brain catches up and I spend some time regretting my (literally) thoughtless comment. Here’s my fantasy fix for this condition:

A small, neural implant in my brain with a tiny switch just behind my right ear (I’m right handed). When going into situations where I think I might speak before thinking, I can engage the Mouth Buffer. While my mental and physical reaction times are unaffected, there is a three second delay before I can utter a sound. (This can be changed in Preferences)

By default, the Mouth Buffer stays engaged for one hour but can be reset as needed.

The only down side I see is the possibility some strangers will be crushed by falling pianos or hiking buddies killed by poisonous snakes because I couldn’t warn them.