Regular readers are familiar with my sputtering attempts at screenplays here. Never can come up with the third act. But Maureen Dowd can and does. Vice in Go-Go Boots, starring Sarah Palin.

“This chick flick, naturally, features a wild stroke of fate, when the two-year governor of an oversized igloo becomes commander in chief after the president-elect chokes on a pretzel on day one.

The movie ends with the former beauty queen shaking out her pinned-up hair, taking off her glasses, slipping on ruby red peep-toe platform heels that reveal a pink French-style pedicure, and facing down Vladimir Putin in an island in the Bering Strait. Putting away her breast pump, she points her rifle and informs him frostily that she has some expertise in Russia because it’s close to Alaska. “Back off, Commie dude,” she says. “I’m a much better shot than Cheney.”

Somewhere in the hills of Hollywood a starving scribe is clicking away on his MacBook. Look for a Labor Day release.