I wanted to believe the new X-Files movie would be a good follow-up to the first movie and the TV series. I was a fan of both and had high hopes for the new film which Barb and I watched last night. What a stinker.

This is where I’d insert a spoiler alert but I just don’t think there’s anything to spoil. But I’ll give you my fuzzy understanding of the plot after the jump.

The magazine cover has nothing to do with the new film. I just wanted some kind of reminder of Scully and Mulder when they were still hot.

A homosexual Russian bad guy is kidnapping women and taking them to a team of Russian doctors and nurses (whose clinic seems to be in a beat-up mobile home) who surgically remove their heads from their bodies so they can attach the head of the bad guy’s boy friend. Sort of the ultimate sex change.

You probably think I’m making this up but that’s basically the plot line. I’m gonna watch the entertainment news for a week or two in hopes that Chris Carter announces we’ve been punked. The people who made the TV series (and the first movie) could not have seriously made this piece of crap.