“My cologne is distilled from the bilge water of Rupert Murdoch’s yacht.”

“When I find something I want, I don’t let go. Like a Killer Whale going nuts on his trainer at Sea World.”

“A stripper offered to give me a squeezer last night. A white stripper!”

“Save it for your iVillage blog.”

“If reality TV has taught us anything, it’s you can’t keep people with no values down.”