Restroom faucets, soap dispensers and towel dispensers are now equipped with motion detectors. Scott Adams is anxiously awaiting the next innovation in restroom automation.

“I assume developers are already working on the last mile: A robotic arm to unzip my pants, grab my unit, then do the holding, shaking, and repackaging. I’m too busy to do that stuff for myself.

The Autopee device (it needs a name) would be problematic because every guy is built different. Somehow it would need to know the dimensions of what’s behind your zipper so it didn’t accidentally neuter you. …You’d also have to tell the Autopee how much shaking you want, ranging anywhere from two quick flicks to a happy ending.”

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