We live on a three-acre, mostly wooded, lot. And I challenge you to walk 50 yards without stepping in a pile of Golden Retreiver poop. As he so often does, Dave offers fresh insight on this endless and thankless task. A couple of my favorites:

You shouldn’t use kitchen utensils to pick up canis crap. My neighbor uses a large soup spoon, and I just can’t endorse that. Nothing I would ever put into my mouth will be used to pick up fecal matter, because I’m fairly aloof, and often deep in thought. What if I got confused? The tool you use says a lot about your personality. A scoop indicates a straight-forward person who attacks a job quickly and efficiently. A dustpan-type tool is a sign of creativity, the user approaching the job with a flair for the dramatic. In my case, I use this thing that resembles a piece of earth-moving equipment. It indicates power, control, and a penchant toward genius.